One week ago, I was just settling into the cardiac intensive care unit after having had a heart attack. It still all seems so very unreal to me. What I can tell you that's different is that I seem to notice every little twinge and shift in my body and wonder "is it happening again?". I'm hopeful that this fearful stage will pass and that I don't continue being hyper-sensitive to everything my body does. I find myself caught in this very weird place where all in the same moment I feel fear about doing anything that may cause something "bad" to happen and feel this strong desire to just get my life back to normal the way it was before last Saturday. I suppose that once you get a wake up call like this one, you never really go back to life as it was before, but I really do hope the constant "am I OK?" checks that run through my mind eventually lessen and go away.
I've received alot of blogger notes, calls, cards and a beautiful flower arrangement from my office that I really appreciate. My 6 yr old niece, Emily, sent me this cool note which I adore:
I suppose it'll just take some time to let this whole experience settle in. What I do know is that I am so very grateful for Wendy and our baby and for every precious minute of life I have. As the song says "...life goes on...".
- Karen
[22w,5d]
4 comments:
I can't turn my back for a moment! Oh my goodness, first, so glad you are both home, happy and healthy again. So sorry to hear of your ordeal. What a lovely picture. Happy New Year to the both of you from San Diego! I would have sent my well wishes earlier but I was away for the holiday. Anyway, there's my two cents. Congrats on the name change Wendy! Lisa O
I can imagine it'd be very scary afterwards. I think that's very normal and hopefully you will relax after some time. It is definitely a life changing experience and we are very happy that you are doing well!
You would have to be mad not to be living through some of the experiences and thoughts that you mentioned. You both experienced a really scary ordeal and it will no doubt take some time before you feel safe in your body again. I am sure that it will come and your altertness will dim, but in the mean time remember that everyone is thinking of you and wishing you deep wellness. xThe Beanies
I know I'm a little late with my comment but I just wanted to see how you are recovering?
I also wanted to thank you for your comment on my blog. Even though my experience in no way compares (since my life was never really in danger) I'm sure you can relate to the trauma of the experience and the shock afterwards. Have things returned to normal for you? (do they ever return to "normal"?)
Sorry for such a silly comment - I would have sent email but couldn't find an address. All the best for continued good health and thank you again for your kind words!
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