Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Book review

Taming the Spirited Child: Strategies for Parenting Challenging Children Without Breaking Their Spirits

Even though I have a Kindle, I love to peruse bookstores. One the sections I usually browse is the parenting section. This book had caught my eye several times and when I saw it at my local library, I picked it up. I'm very glad I read it.

At first I thought, "Spirited? I don't know if I would call Kylie spirited?" but then I read the author's definition which is a spirited child is more curious, more adventurous, more powerful, more persistent, and more sensitive (CAPPS) and I thought that fit Kylie just fine.

I particularly liked the author's discussion that about a child's misbehavior will
often be aimed at one of four common goals: getting contact with an adult, protecting his own safety or self-esteem, avoiding a difficult task, or gaining power.

And that often a child will gain power by making the parent lose their temper. "Look how powerful I am! I made Mommy angry!" For a child to be able to control the emotions of a giant in his world is powerful stuff. You lose your temper, you lose.

The author's tactics of "Don't fight and don't give in" and "Give choices, not orders" and "stay firm and friendly" were great reminders of how I want to parent Kylie.

I got a lot out of reading it (these were just some highlights) and will probably refer to it again in the future.

Have you read any good parenting books lately?

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Cutie pie ran around the house Saturday afternoon without a shirt. She had to put up with me taking lots of pictures and continually kissing her shoulders.

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I love this shot. I see this expression all the time and I'm happy I captured it.

3 comments:

For the Long Haul said...

Totally different type of child but I am reading The Highly Sensitive Child and, like you, have found it to be HUGELY helpful with my son who is very, very sensitive. Look at him with a stern eye and he bursts into tears and promises never to do it again. Total opposite of my daughter who looks right back at me and repeats said offense with a look like, "What are you going to do about it?" But if your child wavers on being overly sensitive sometimes this is a great read.

4464 said...

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Shamanda said...

Sounds like an interesting book. I am in the throes of three year old-ness and could use all the help I can get. For me the biggest challenge is remaining calm when he pushes my buttons. It makes sense tho that they feel powerful when they succeed at making us lose it. Going to check thatbook out. I'm reading Parenting From The Inside Out and Connected Parenting. The first talks a lot about our histories and what we bring to parenting. The second has many of the techniques that from The Happiest Toddler On The Block.