Thursday, August 31, 2006

Co-mom thoughts

As the co-mom (or whatever name you may choose to use for the non-bio mom), I find myself reading as voraciously as Wendy about being pregnant. We were sitting at Starbucks today sipping our drinks and reading. Did I have my trusty Laurel Hamilton (Anita Blake the Vampire Hunter series) or some other mind candy to whisk me away from reality? Heck no! I had a British magazine called "I'm Pregnant" opened before me and was highly intent on reviewing the article on Prams and Carry Cots (I love the British terms for things!). I'm currently fascinated by strollers and how they work. It's kinda like doing research to buy a car and there are soooo many models to choose from.

I read interviews with 4 expectant moms and their early pregnancy thoughts, feelings and body changes (quite interesting that all 4 of them were quite different). I read about reusable "nappies" (I love calling a diaper a nappy for some reason). I read about how to deal with back pain during pregnancy and how your hair is very different during pregnancy (did you know that we all lose 50-75 hairs per day *except* when you're pregnant and then you don't lose any!).

Wendy and I are both big readers and big planners and organizers. We can get pretty single-minded when it comes to having something on our minds and then researching it until we feel as if we've looked at it from every angle. It makes us feel more at ease and in control (as much control as you can "think" you have anyway). But, I'm surprised that I'm not searching out (at least not yet) more co-mom specific stuff. I'm currently very content and excited to be diving into pregnant mom stuff. I suppose that's good as it may help me to understand and support Wendy as she experiences the biological elements of the pregnancy.

Anyway, I find it interesting and cool that I'm "feeling pregnant" too in so many ways. I may not be carrying the child in my belly, but I'm sure carrying him/her in my heart.

- Karen

6 comments:

Holly said...

I used to be a reader. I've been slacking lately.
I bought "Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-biological Lesbian Moms tell all!" and haven't cracked it open yet.
I have been reading "The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians" which is pretty good, but I won't read ahead.
Have you read either?
I figure I need to try to be as informed as possible while she grows the baby as best as possible.

Wendy & Karen said...

We've got "The Ultimate Guide..." and like you, haven't read ahead. Right now we're enjoying "The Pregnancy Bible" (by Stone & Eddleman)...very cool week by week baby development pictures.

"Your Baby's First Year" (by Shelov) is also cool and takes you month by month through developmental milestones. I guess you can't get too prepared too early, huh?!

I've got a couple of co-mom books on my list to look into but haven't yet purchased any. You'll have to let me know how you like "Confessions".

DtDtKty said...

K- I am so happy that you "feel" so involved...that's wonderful and just as it should be. Yes, the changes in everything, including the hair, are amazing. Even almost eight weeks postpartum, I am still not really losing much hair because I still take prenatals due to breastfeeding. Enjoy all your research and sense of control now because what they say is true...the illusion of control is completely thown out the window when the baby arrives.
Love,
H

Kiles said...

Just found your blog, I love it, good luck with everything :-)

Gus and Moms said...

have you read "the birth partner"? As a non-bio mom I really liked it b/c it was geared towards the non-pregnant person but was pretty practical...

Stacey said...

Angele and I read "Confessions" and think it's a great book. Really gives you an idea of different emotions the non-bio mother may/will feel. I really enjoyed it.

Glad you're so involved. We also have "The Pregnancy Bible" and love it because the pictures are just great. Makes the reading more fun. ;)