Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Anything but boring

Late last month while I was on a business trip, I was perusing my USA Today (found by my hotel room door each morning) and saw an article about a lady in England by the name of Helen Kirwan-Taylor who had written an article saying her kids "bored her". The uproar over that article was amazingly fast and furious. While a handful of people applauded her for admitting this, most people slammed her for her un-motherly attitude.

I have to say that I can't even remotely imagine how your child could bore you! My child hasn't even been born yet and much of my energy and attention and emotion is already caught up in him/her. If I'm this enthralled with the baby before he/she is even born, I'll be even more so entranced after the birth! Wendy and I were asking each other last night during one of our many phone calls (we talk alot on the phone when I'm out of town) what we talked about before we started trying to have a baby. Maybe the lady who is bored would have a different opinion of us, but I think it's cool to be so in love with your child (before, during and after birth!) that you find joy in every little thing about them.

I can imagine being lots of things as a mom, but bored is certainly not one of them. We want so badly to become parents that it is quite infuriating when a mom with two glorious children seems to want to give them the brush off.

It is said that having a child will change your life. Some people fear that and think they'll lose themselves in the child. I think our child will be a marvelous joy that will bring new experiences and opportunites into our lives. Will our lives change? Oh yeah! Are we happily looking forward to that? Oh yeah! We love our life now and are just so excited about sharing it with a little one. We have a lot to give our baby and our baby will give us oh so much in return. What a miracle!

Boredom....never! Change, surprise, ups, downs, ins, outs and anything and everything imaginable....absolutely! But never, ever boredom!

Speaking of not being bored, we're 4 days from the end of this cycle and are about to enter the POAS (POAS means pee on a stick for those of my friends and family who aren't familiar with the acronym) phase. We'll know soon if our little miracle is cooking along inside Wendy or if we'll be trying again next month. Either way, boredom is no where in sight!

4 comments:

DtDtKty said...

Having a child is definitely not boring. Granted, the newborn pattern of sleep, eat, change, repeat can be tiresome, but it's still not boring. You wonder..."How many times will they spit up this time?!" ;) I have also welcomed becoming "caught up" in my child. He is my greatest joy and I feel the true reason that I was put upon this Earth. I know that the two of you will derive as much pleasure and excitement from your little one as I do from mine...and there is nothing boring about that.
Love,
H

wenders said...

Interesting. I went and read the article, and read this response as well (http://tinyurl.com/e5ps5).

I actually thought the article was refreshing - the central theme to me seemed to be that this woman does not agree with the emerging trend of letting children think that everything revolves around them and having insanely over-programmed lives.

She wants to have an adult life and relationship in addition to her children - which I think might result in more well-adjusted kids in the long run. The part about children thinking it's all about them being ill-equipped in the 'real world' is something I believe is very very true.

She talks more about avoiding having a child become your career than hating her kids - it seems like by living HER life and not her kids, she thinks she will raise better children. I actually applaud her for recognizing her own limitations - if she's going to be so unhappy at a cricket match, then let someone go who loves being there. The ending sentence is the strongest to me - she's letting her kids know that SHE'S not perfect, that she has limitations ---- I think they'll end up know it's okay if they have limitations, too.

Wendy & Karen said...

I'd agree that her thoughts certainly inspire a look at how you view your relationship with your kids. I guess the question I've asked myself so many times so far in our process of trying to have a child is: why do I want a child? There's a part of what she says that doesn't fit in that if she really thinks kids are boring, doesn't really want to be involved in their activities and wants to keep her "adult" life from being interfered with by her kids...why have them at all? Is it a moral imperative that prompted it? Did her husband want kids really badly and she gave in? I get that she says she loves her kids...and I'm sure she does, but it almost seems to me as if she's treating her kids like a job she doesn't really like. Do it..because you have to...but at the end of the day, you leave it behind and don't give it another thought until you have to go back.

Is she saying that those parents who do get involved in their kids lives are boring or lacking in their own lives and they only have kids to fill some gap/lack in themselves? No where in her article did she pass judgment on other parents but I think it's an easy leap for a very involved parent to make and take offense at her article.

In the end, it's fascinating how the article reads for different people and the intense reactions it has seemed to evoke.

- Karen

Caroline said...

I don't get it. It's people like that that probably shouldn't have kids. They don't appreciate them. I know if I was blessed with a child I would love every single minute with that child. I see lots of therapy in that kids future. And they worry about gays having children. Who are the majority that are abusing, neglecting and mistreating kids: heterosexuals. God, this makes me so angry. sorry..