Monday, August 21, 2006

Premonitions or wishful thinking?

I can't seem to wipe this silly grin off my face! Wow! We're pregnant! If you can imagine a smile 3000 miles long, that's what I have! It stretches all the way from Tennessee (where I am right now) to my sweet Wendy at our home in Oregon. But, I'll tell you, it's been an interesting few days!

As Wendy mentioned in her earlier post, she actually tested on Thursday (that's my girl...patience is her middle name ) and got a negative. She didn't tell me until I called her at my lunch break and then she said "honey, I tested and I'm not pregnant". I hesitated for just a moment, took a breath and said that it was OK...it was still early and a "false negative" is surely possible and that we wouldn't know for absolutely sure until she got her period. Her disappointment was so heavy and evident that it almost broke my heart to not be there with her. On my end, I was of course a bit disappointed, but I just couldn't quite think it was over yet.

You see, since we decided to try this month, and I had done all the math (figuring dates and what not), I had two dates that just kept pinging around my head: Aug. 7 and Aug. 19. Aug. 7 was the date I thought Wendy would ovulate and we'd be inseminated. Aug. 19 was the date I thought should do a pregnancy test. Maybe it was just hopeful thinking given all the charts and date math I'd done, but there was just this calm assurance about those two dates that was riding inside me. When Wendy called me on Thursday Aug. 3 to say her ovulation test showed a faint line and that Pac Repro had suggested we get on down to San Fran to inseminate the following day, I was actually surprised...but went on to San Fran anyway thinking my gut feelings were just "off" on this one. Then, the ovulation test line practically disappeared and we ended up waiting in San Fran until (yep...that's right) Monday, Aug. 7! My initial date had been right!

So, when Wendy tested on Thursday and got a negative, I just couldn't quite let disappointment overwhelm me because I was still holding out for the Saturday date before I was going to allow myself to let it in that we might be trying again next month. I just kept trying to encourage Wendy to not give up hope yet and that we still had a few days before we'd really know for sure if it wasn't going to happen. So, when she called me on Friday to tell me that she had a screaming headache and that she thought the test she did showed a "faint hint of a shadow of a line", I chuckled to myself and told her to go get a digital test to try on Saturday. She was still a bit hesitant to want to hope too much after being so disappointed with the stark white test the previous day but she went out to get the new tests and said she'd try again.

Saturday...Aug. 19. My phone rings at a little after 8am (Eastern time) and caller id announces it's Wendy calling. As I pick up the phone to answer, the smile is already spreading on my face and I answer with "Hey honey...what's up?". "We're pregnant!" she says. Yeeeeeee-haaaaawwwwwww! After our giggling, laughing, happy fit I told her about my date premonitions. Weird but true!

So, maybe...just maybe...I'm a bit of a wizard way deep down. Maybe I've got a bit of the Harry Potter/Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger type wizard floating in my DNA. I picture myself in a pointy hat with a wand waving it gently over Wendy's belly saying "Expecto Pregnatus" and wah-lah...Wendy's pregnant! Guess I'd better keep my internal ears open for the next premonition, huh!?!?

- Karen

1 comment:

nursevest said...

Karen,
I am so happy for you and Wendy, you will both be fabulous parents. I am so sorry you were away for this awesome news, but there is so much more excitement to come. Also, if you give me the winning lotto numbers, I will split the winnings with you, he he!! Speaking of premonitions, I just watched the three "Final Destination" movies, kind of gross, but really intense and they really make you think about premonitions, which I have never thought about before. You should watch them, if you don't mind a little gore. Have a safe trip back home.
Karyn