Did you see the Star Trek movie where they had to go back in time to rescue a pair of humpback whales in order to save the world in the future? Well, when they finally find the whales and beam them on board, Scottie says "Captain, thar' be whales here!". Today as we finished our first insemination attempt, that one line kept singing in my head (with one small change however)...thar' be sperm here! Wow!
I never thought I'd feel so wonderful and absolutely delighted that sperm were swimming around in Wendy's uterus! The coolest thing was there wasn't a "real" man anywhere in the vicinity. Please note this is not a slam on males....just a cool realization that getting pregnant in this day and age doesn't mean that an actual male person has to be present (just his little swimmers have to be there!). While we don't know the donor, and never will, I honor his "contribution" to the process. But, it was just Wendy and me (and the RN doing the injection of course) present. It was sweet and exciting and it was truly the two of us, in that moment, making love. It was a moment that held all the love the two of us have for each other and all the love we already have for the little unborn child that may soon be alive and kicking inside of my sweet Wendy. It was surreal...it was special...
It's strange how getting to this point was the hard part. The waiting and the worry that we'd miss our window and that somehow ovulation wasn't going to happen or if it did, we'd test at the wrong time or get a invalid result, or, or, or.... But, now that it's happened, everything is so full of hope and anticipation...rather than worry or fear.
We both know that success on the first attempt is statistically less likely, and we're prepared for having to go through the insemination process until we find success. But, for now, we will wait in hope for the next couple of weeks to pass until we know if our first try did the trick. Either way, we face the next steps with hope and confidence that no matter how long it takes, we are on the adventure of a lifetime...together!
- Karen
Monday, August 07, 2006
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4 comments:
Karen...Your words describing the beauty and love of the experience brought tears to my eyes. These are moments that you will cherish for a lifetime. This is going to be one lucky baby.
Love,
H
hope your swimmers can "find nemo" as they say in romper room! lots of good vibes and wishes from sunny san diego. good luck and i'm very excited for you both! hopefully one day we can bring gavin up there with jeff and heather and ethan and get our munchkins together! fingers crossed for you here, Lisa O (heather's friend)
Today I'm stressing out, because I should have ovulated, but haven't yet, and I'm wondering if I missed my window or tested at the wrong time or . . . or . . .
So I came here to see how it went with you two a year ago, and here you are, experiencing the same fears, and I feel so comforted. Thank you, again, for sharing your experience in such detail. You did a brave and generous thing recording your experience ttc.
I'm reading your blog from the beginning, and while I obviously already know you have a baby...I'm so excited for you, and nervous, because I don't know what's going to happen next!
Your words are so very touching, and having raised my son as a single mother, I'm a tad envious of the love that you two share in the conception of your baby.
So touching...
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