Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Wipe down, not up

Last night I dreamed that I was visiting my old friend Kim who gave birth to daughter Brianna.

In real life, Brianna was such a sick little baby. She caught lots of colds and was particularly prone to getting kidney infections. Turns out that the reason for so many kidney infections was that her family had a tendency to wipe her bottom and special parts in an upwards direction when they changed her diapers.

In the dream, Kim was dressed like a drill sergeant and yelling at me, "Repeat after me--wipe down, not up!"
"Wipe down, not up," I dutifully answered.
"No poop in the hoo-hoo!" she cried. "Repeat it, you nugget!"
"No poop in the hoo-hoo!" I yelled back.
"Girls get infections," she yelled.
"Girls get infections!

I actually woke myself up mumbling "Wipe down, not up". It was good for a late-night giggle.

Went back to sleep and dreamed of beautiful women, dressed like prom queens and riding a float in a parade. All of the women in the parade were trying to conceive via IVF. The "queen" of the float was the woman with the largest, prettiest eggs. She got to sit highest on the float and wear the biggest crown. And the streets were lined with people throwing money at them to pay for their conceptions.

Who knew that spaghetti would yield such weird dreams?!

-Wendy
[36w,2d]

10 comments:

SJayneI said...

That is hilarious!! Not too much longer, huh?

Traci said...

Thanks for the giggles!

Lynanne said...

It's not fair to make a pregnant woman laugh so hard! "No poop in the hoo-hoo!" OMG, too funny!

SassyFemme said...

Oh that's funny!!!

Stacey said...

lol. great dreams!

singletracey said...

You are so funny! Dreams are funny!

Kerry Lynn said...

ok, you have officially freaked me out. HAHA

Recovering Straight Girl said...

I think it's pregnancy, not spaghetti.

Momai said...

LOL Excellent!!!!

Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

HAHAHA.. I think I have to make no poop in the hoo-hoo my 6 year old's new mantra :)

Don't forget to wipe both sides of the hoo-hoo :)