Wednesday, December 27, 2006

How I remember it

Karen and I are so happy to be at home. We're both resting comfortably.

I wanted to take a moment and share some of my experiences and memories of her heart attack and heart surgery.

  • Seeing the ER room fill with 10 people, all poking and prodding and hovering around Karen with her arms and legs spread-eagle and seeing the chest paddles brought into the room.
  • Being escorted to the cardiac surgery waiting room and sitting by myself for the first time. My head was buzzing with questions. When do I call her family? What will I say? When will I call my family? How long will this surgery last? What will the result be? And on and on and on. No answers- just tons of questions and nothing to do but feel the fear.
  • Going home for the first time after her attack, seeing Karen's pillow on the bed and her picture above the bed, and feeling all "what-could-have-happened" crashing in on me like a killer-wave.

    After three hits of nitroglycerine, Karen's pain was down from a 9 to a 4. At that point, the doctor ordered morphine to bring her pain all the way down. When he asked her if she was feeling the effects of the morphine, Karen said "There's Mr. Hand!". (This is a quote from the movie "Looks Who's Talking" wherein Bruce Willis is a baby in his mom's womb. He's received the effects of Mom's painkiller and he says in a drunken voice while playing with his fingers- "There's Mr. Hand"). When Karen said this, the doctor met my eyes and nodded like, "Oh yeah, she's feeling it!" He then asked again, "What's your pain on a scale of 1-10" and Karen replied, "What pain?"

    Yep. Karen puked on me in the emergency room. It was my fault because I fed her a few crackers and ginger ale when she told me she felt nauseous(the pregnant woman's answer to everything) so it was only fitting that I got showered with it.

  • Holding hands and looking deep into each other's eyes and saying our "I love you's" before she was wheeled into surgery.
  • The first time Karen stood up from her bed after her surgery, she held out her arms to hug me and then she "twirled" me as if we were dancing.
  • On Christmas, she squished over in her hospital bed so that I could lay beside her with my head on her shoulders.

    Thanks to everyone for your supportive comments. We love our blog family.

    [22w, 2d]

    Anonymous said...

    Oh how scary! So glad everything is okay now!

    Kathryn said...

    I can't freaking believe this. I was wondering why you hadn't posted in a couple of days; you should have called me, I would have been there in a second. I'll be calling later...

    Anonymous said...

    How sweet and scary at the same time. This post brought tears to my eyes. Hope Karen is off to a speedy recovery!

    Anonymous said...

    I can't imagine how scary it must've been. So glad that everything turned out alright!!!

    Anonymous said...

    Holy SHIT! I am so glad you are ok Karen! How freaking scary...for all of you.

    Anonymous said...

    sounds scary, but we are so so so glad that this is told as a apres story which you can look back on the moments of. you two take care of each other! stay healthy and hang on to that great thing you two have...and that little one who will be joining the clan!

    singletracey said...

    I follow your blog and HAD to post... Normally I am just a lurker. Anyway.. I wanted to say that your love for each other .. the way you both thought of each other.. the way you each expressed it in your individual post.. I got teary-eyed. I have never met you but I feel like I know you and I look forward to reading what's new each day! Karen, I am so glad you are okay! Hugs to you both...

    Anonymous said...

    Wow, how scary! But the way you are both handling this shows that you are well-prepared for parenthood. Continued rest and recovery for both of you.

    Momai said...

    So glad to hear that things are going well. We'll be thinking positive thoughts for your whole family during recovery!

    nursevest said...

    Oh my gosh, I thought I was reading the wrong blog. I am so sorry to hear of Karen's heart problem. How scary that was for the two of you. I am sooooo glad that everything went well and she is home safe and sound. I haven't been able to read regularly, so sorry. I just have to say thank God!!! Rest and don't over do it. You are in my thoughts.