Wednesday, March 05, 2008


I've discovered something quite odd. I can't find any pediatrician listed in any of my gay-friendly advertising sources.

Our pediatrician's office is closing their doors. So I'm trying to find a replacement doctor's office.

I first checked our PLOP (Parenting Lesbians of Portland) online resource page. - nothing.
Then I checked our Q Center's online resources- nope.
I looked at the online version of "Just Out" magazine. Nothing.
Then I looked in my Portland's Gay & Lesbian Community Yellow pages. Nada.
And then I tried a bunch of google searches. Not one doctor's office is listed.

What's up with that?

Now, if I want to find a real estate agent, an attorney, or an accountant, I have lots of choices. Many of these professionals advertise as gay or gay-friendly. But I can't find one single pediatrician.

Part of me thinks that I should just pick a nearby office. So many professionals that we've encountered are incredibly welcoming and kind to me and Karen. That's one of the awesome things about Portland.

But yesterday, I stopped by a nearby doctor's office to see if they were accepting new patients and if they took my insurance. And the receptionist was (pardon me here) a complete bitch.

I don't know if she was having a bad day or what. But her end of our short conversation was filled with venom. She did everything but shoot darts at me to get me to leave that office. My hands were shaking as I quickly walked out. And then I wondered. Was she just having a really bad afternoon? Does she not like Southerners? Or did I just look sooooo gay and she hated that and wanted to shoo me away.

It didn't help that I've just gotten a very short haircut. I felt like my head looked like a cue ball. I looked very spiky/dykey yesterday.

So after that yucky experience, I just want to insulate myself from any gay-hating people. I want to know that if the receptionist is being a bitch, that's she just having a bitchy day and that she's not a gay-hating bitch. I just want to know that I'm safe going to the doctor's office. I don't want to feel anxious. Because when I get nervous, Kylie gets nervous and that is the last thing I want for her doctor's appointments.

So, calling all you gay-friendly pediatricians. Come out of the closet. Portland is full of lesbian moms that want your services. Please do us a favor and make it a little easier for us to find you.

Lastly, if you live near me and like your pediatrician, please send me their contact information.



Shauna said...

She's probably just a bitch by nature. Do any of your straight friends or coworkers have a ped that they like? That might be a good place to start.

Good luck! And if you find one you should encourage them to list with all the resources you mentioned.

Kathryn said...

Dr. Sara Canon at The Children's Clinic in Tualatin. She's fab, not gay, but very friendly. She's been our pediatrician for nine years.

Kerry Lynn said...

gay hating people are stuuuuupid.
I feel so bad she made you feel that way.
in my experience ALL doctor office staff are miserable. I have no idea why but every doctor I've ever had that I loved had horrifically bitchy staff.
i really hope she was just a regular old bitch because a gay hating bitch is just unacceptable.

Anonymous said...

I don't think I live close enough to you to be of much help but the pediatrician my girls have had for their entire lives here in Vancouver is fabulous!

Anonymous said...

We see Dr. Cannon at the Children's Clinic, too!! I've actually been very happy with all the doctor's we've seen there. I'm not sure exactly where you are, but the Children's Clinic also has an office near St. Vincent's (however I would NOT recommend Dr. Pettersen at that clinic. Only saw her once, but I thought she was very patronizing.)

Jen said...

Oh that sucks to have experienced such a bitchy receptionist. We lucked out on our second pediatrician but the first one was a nightmare...a late 50-ish, early 60's Indian(Hindu) woman. I don't know if it was a cultural thing but when she asked me, "Who's this?" I matter of factly said "this is Dawn, my partner... Maddie's other mom," she clammed up with a little judgmental "oh!" and never said hi to Dawn or even acknowledged her. It was very awkward and we never went back. If you can't find anyone in a gay publication, you may just try calling the office ahead of time and asking if the doctor/s have any issue with gay families. That way you can see how they respond to your question and you haven't wasted a trip if they respond poorly. That's what I did with my OB. I called and asked the receptionist if the doctor was taking new patients, then told her that my partner and I were in this together and she would like to come to the appointments and would the doctor have any issue with seeing a gay couple. She said "not at all." And he was WONDERFUL! Good luck to you. It's so important to know your family is respected and accepted.

SassyFemme said...

Do you have any kind of semi-local lesbian email list? I know we have one in my area and questions like yours go to it all the time, and someone almost always has a recommendation for whatever is needed.

Stacey said...

I'm sure she was just bitchy in general. I'm sorry you had a terrible experience. We had crappy experiences finding our family doctor so I can relate. We actually had homophobia twice in Toronto with doctors! That's just insane because Toronto is so gay-friendly.

Lynanne said...

Pediatrician offices tend to have lots of busy/bad days so yesterday might have been pretty telling of the receptionist's personality. Depending on the size of the practice, receptionists schedule appointments and triage questions to the nurse. You might get stuck dealing with her a lot. I'd say trust your instincts.

How about asking your current pediatrician for a referral?

Jess said...

Good luck, no one should have to deal with a bitchy receptionist at the doctors ever! I hope you find somewhere you and Kylie can always feel welcome and happy about going. :)

Anonymous said...

one of our pediatrician's receptionists is s bitch. i don't think it's us though, she seems to be a bitch to everyone...good luck with your search!