Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Hard Day

Yesterday was a hard day.

Would you like to see why? Inside this beautiful baby......

are painful, moving, throbbing teeth.

Let's take a closer look shall we?

And there are two more teeth on the top gum that look like they are going to burst through any moment but haven't started to cut yet.

Beautiful and fun pictures aside, yesterday was a really hard day.

Kylie cried most of the day. She has this close-mouthed scream that rips me to shreds. It makes my sinuses hurt. It makes me want to bang my head against the wall. It makes me want to drink large quantities of liquor.

I simply hate it when I can't comfort Kylie. When nothing I do makes it better. At 6pm when she went to sleep, I drove far, far away from the house to have a fast food burger and fries. And then a Starbucks mocha and cookie.

There went my diet but you know.... food helps. It comforts and its always there. And I'm back on my diet today.

But during my glazed drive around town, I was feeling really disappointed that so many of my friends and blogger friends are no longer stay-at-home moms. Many of them have had to (or have chosen to) go back to work. And this makes me feel alone. Alone in the misery of a 12 hour day with an upset baby. Alone in feeling that no one really understands exactly how hard this is. It can be so grindingly boring. And it can be so hard to be upbeat, patient and loving to a really upset baby.

But, as usual, my pout ended soon (about when the caffeine and sugar hit my system). And after this really bad day, I ended up counting my blessings. I'm blessed with such a healthy, wonderful daughter. I'm blessed to have this incredible wife who understands me so well. Karen is soooo good for me. She soothes me and always catches me when I fall. She's fantastically patient and never complains about another night of a frozen Jenny Craig meal for dinner. I truly am lucky and blessed.

I had a good night's sleep and thought about just blowing off this hard day I had yesterday. But I want this blog to be real. I want it to be more than pretty pictures. This is where I share my life with you and I always want to tell you the truth.

Even about really crappy, hard days.

Now here's some pictures of our sweet baby girl.


Shannon said...

I'm so sorry you had such a hard day. Those days really are terrible and hard no matter how thankful we are to have our wonderful children. Teething really sucks sometimes, for the parents as well as the babies. I'm glad you're feeling better, and Kylie too!

Kathryn said...

You'll have more of them, unfortunately. And then one day they will be a distant memory. No where is it written that every day has to be a good one, sometimes there are just bad days.

French fries and Starbucks help. So does large amounts of liquor, which is my choice!

Shauna said...

Hang in there! Maybe the worst is over?

I'm a SAHM Mom for another couple of months so if you ever need to vent, I'm only an email away. :)

Anonymous said...

I totally understand how you feel. Then, on top of the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days, there is that "mommy guilt" that is forever hovering as well... I don't know about you, but some days I can't wait to put her down for the night, and then once she is down I miss her and I just want to hold and rock with her.

I've been reading some parenting blogs, let me know if you want some of the links. They seem to help me on the "I'm all alone with this little terror" days.

E. from Pot o' Gold said...

I stayed at home for the first 4 months (and grant it, those are the hardest, IMO), but I often felt isolated and alone and that no one knew how hard it was. Teething is hard.

I get off work at noon so if you ever want to get the babies together and have some adult conversation, let me know. They are old enough now that they would probably play well together. "Peanut Butter and Ellie's" is supposed to be cool. I haven't been there, have you?

If you e-mail me, I'll give you my phone number. erinbrigidthirtyone at yahoo dot com.
(the thirty one is numerical)

Anonymous said...

I remember those days so clearly. They were long ago for me but I still remember.

Good for you my dear. Taking care of yourself is the best gift you can give to you and to your baby.

Holly said...

Fast food and starbucks always makes things better.
Poor Kylie. It is so hard watching them go through this!

I'm glad you are writing about the not so good days as well as the better days. That's what blogging is all about!

SJayneI said...

Hey, I'm right there with you......almost. I also have a 14-week old and a 17-month old on a daily basis in addition to Bella. It's hard; we really need an outlet. Take care of yourself!

Alayna said...

I'm so sorry Kylie is teething and that you guys had such a hard day. I have totally been there. We're around a lot and have pretty flexible schedules, so we'd love to set up a time to get together. Just send me an email or give a call or something!

Jess said...

Aww, poor Kylie and poor moms! Teething is such a rough time. I don't know if you do any natural remedies, but for some babies the Hyland's Teething Tablets can really help. And Tylenol, lots of Tylenol for everyone, hehe.
Good Luck!

Stacey said...

Sorry the day was so horrible. Teething sucks. And so do illnesses. There are just rough patches and you'll get through them. Going out is definitely a good idea.

Are there are any groups/playdates you can join? There are some informal groups everywhere. I meet a group of moms in our part of Toronto and I would sometimes meet up for a playdate. They even started a book club so that the moms could get out for adult-only time. I think getting out of the house really, really helps. I know because I spent 10 months as a stay-at-home-mom and it can make you a bit stir-crazy if you don't get out. Go for a walk. Go to the mall. Meet with other moms. Go swimming. Just do something that will allow you to have a break from the same old routine. My groups with Riley really helped my days go much better. It was nice to have her out and interacting with others (saved myself from hearing a complaining baby who didn't feel like being home anymore) and meeting with other moms. You are not alone.

Ethan Barry's Momma said...

You have my upmost respect and admiration. You know why I couldn't be a SAHM anymore, but I think that you are amazing for being able to do it. Hang in there and know that days like this will pass. They always someone do.

Lynanne said...

You aren't alone - there is a whole army of stay at home moms out there standing beside you even if they are behind the walls of their own house, feeling the very same way.