Fun with lyrics

Have you ever had fun changing the lyrics to a song? I do. And this seems to be a family trait. My dad would walk around the house just making up his own words to song tunes. I would roll my eyes and say, "Daaadddd...that's not how the song goes." And he would give me a goofy grin.

And now I find that I make up or change song lyrics all the time. My latest change is a small one but very fun to sing. It's the song, "Two Worlds" written and sung by Phil Collins for the animated Disney "Tarzan" movie. The original lyrics are "two worlds, one family". I've changed it to "two girls, one family".

Here's the refrain:
Put your faith in what you most believe in
Two girls, one family
Trust your heart
Let fate decide
To guide these lives we see.

I can just see the little Biscuit singing it Mommy's way. Makes me smile.

So all you girlfriends out there, give this revised song a try. Sing it with all your heart. Who knows...it might catch on!

-Wendy

[9w,4d]

Ginger tea & nanny letter

All hail ginger tea! Wow! This stuff really helps my nausea. I feel better than I've felt in four days. Relief - hurray!!

You might remember that I wrote my grandmother, Nanny J., to officially "come out" to her and to let her know about my pregnancy. I got a letter back from her today.

She writes, "Dear Wendy/Mama to Be, I hope things go well (with the pregnancy). Bring the baby back to TN so that I can spoil it. I'm wishing you and Karen much happiness. I have some baby clothes in the attic. I wish you had them."

Then she goes on to tell me about the beans and tomatoes in her garden, her dogwood trees and her new heat/air system.

She ends the letter, "Love you and say hello to Karen for me".

Isn't that wonderful? I'm smiling from ear to ear.

[9w,2d]

Thanks

My good friend and neighbor Heather has been checking on me. When she heard how my pregnancy symptoms have accelerated this week, she went out and bought me preggie pops, ginger tea, ginger ale, ginger snaps, nilla wafers and honeycomb cereal-- all the stuff that helped her when she was pregnant.

What a wonderful and memorable gift. Thank you.

[9w, 2d]
[11 Babies R Us visits]

Grilled cheese and other musings

When I was a little girl, I would stay with my Nanny P. for several weeks in the summer. I was a finicky eater and bone-thin. My sweet Nanny would begrudgingly serve me chicken noodle soup everyday for lunch and my few favorites for dinner. But since she thought I was way too thin, she would look for ways to fatten me up. One of her favorites was to plop the toaster onto the dining table, set out some bread, margarine and cheese slices and open a deck of playing cards. We would play gin rummy (my favorite as a kid), and she would butter toasted bread and slap cheese on it and feed me sandwich after sandwich.

So today I had a Nanny P. toaster-cheese sandwich. I devoured it and could have eaten 10 more. Bread and butter!! Yum!! (By the way, what's with the pregnancy drool? There's so much of it! Makes me feel like a drippy-mouthed dog!)

Speaking of dogs, have I mentioned that I now have the nose of a bloodhound? No kidding. I can smell everything. I can smell someone smoking 3 blocks away. I can smell the tar of the road pavers several miles away. The bakery/deli/seafood sections of the grocery store are completely overwhelming.

And Starbucks. My beloved Starbucks. Last time I was there, I could smell coffee on my clothes, hair, and skin for the rest of the day. I thought I was going to have to shower just to get to sleep at night because the coffee smell on my person was grossing me out! So my wonderful daily ritual of a decaf coffee and non-fiction book reading is out the window for a while. Damn... I REALLY enjoyed that!

So today I went to the library. The simple act of walking from my car to the library made me sweaty hot, and then of course, nauseous. I'm trying to browse the book racks while snort-breathing and chanting to myself. "Just breathe, don't puke! Just breathe, don't gag!". I ended up standing in the fiction G-H section for 15 minutes simply because the air conditioner vent was located there. I hope the Gabaldon and Hallowell books I borrowed are good because they are the only ones I got.

But then I came home to the most wonderful surprise in the mail. 12 bottles of Bath & Bodyworks Lemongrass Sage lotion! Aahhhh. Bliss! My sweet Karen knows that I adore this lotion (which has been discontinued for some time) so she bought me some off of ebay. Thank you love!

If you wondered what that sound was. . .

. . .it was very likely my poor, sweet Wendy retching her guts out today! While Wendy has been experiencing some nausea and queasiness with her pregnancy, she had yet until today had a "full blown" episode. But, today was the day.

I was in our office working a bit to try and get ready to be out of town this week. Our office is on the first floor of our home. Wendy was in the kitchen unloading the dishwasher...or so I thought. One minute I hear the clink, clink of silverware and plates and the next I hear this god-awful, deep bass, earth-shaking retching coming from upstairs. Unbeknownst to me, Wendy was hit with a wave of nausea and had dashed upstairs to our bathroom to get sick. Now, we have a half bath right next to the office, and close to the kitchen where she was, but she decided to go upstairs so I wouldn't hear her and get grossed out or anything. (She's convinced that my hearing her vomiting will send me into my own vomiting fit!) Little did she know that the sound she would make would be like the sound of mastodons mating (if one can imagine the probable decibel level of such an event)!

I heard the noise and for a half a second wondered what the heck it was before hearing the next bellow from above. I raced upstairs to find my dear one wrapped around the toilet bowl spitting and spewing. "Honey, are you alright?", I quietly ask. (Yes, I know...brilliant question to ask someone who is puking their guts out.) With a flush and one last spit into the bowl, she turned her ashen face towards me and with a weak, but very happy smile, says "the baby is just fine"! She managed to ask me to retrieve her a cool, wet washcloth, which I did, and got her wiped down and cooled off a bit. As she pushed away from the toilet to raise herself back to her feet, she looked down at the knee of her black sweatpants and noticed she had a few dustbunnies clinging to it. With a look of disgust far more retched than the "puke face", she commented, "that floor is really dusty, I have just got to mop"! That's my girl! Happy to be barfing and fretful about a few dust bunnies behind the toilet!

The day has been a long one for her as she's felt bad on our "yuck" scale at about an 8 (out of 10). We went out to get chicken nuggets and that helped for about an hour. A while later, we got a slushie from the 7-11 and a bit later still, had a grilled cheese sandwich at the nearby Red Robin. She keeps saying she'll take it (i.e. being sick) even though she feels like crap because all the yuck she's feeling makes her believe all is well with the little biscuit. But, feeling like crap is feeling like crap so I'd best end this post and get upstairs to join her and provide pets and hugs to my sweet woman... oh yeah, and to take her a Preggie Pop and be ready for a dash to the 7-11 should she request it!

- Karen

[8w,6d]

Front page story

Wendy here. Holy crap! The cover story in today's Oregonian newspaper is a shocker about a mix-up at a fertility clinic. You can read the entire article here.

But here are the nuts and bolts of it. A man went to OHSU's fertility clinic to leave a sperm sample that would be later used by his fiancee. After leaving his sample, he was called by the clinic who told him they had dropped his sample and he would have to give another which he did.

A married couple, who have tried to have children for years, went to the clinic for an IUI using anonymous sperm they had purchased through the clinic. After the woman was inseminated, she was called back to the clinic and was told that a mistake had been made and that they had inseminated her with the wrong sperm. They had her take a "morning after" pill and offered her an abortion if she was pregnant or free sperm and inseminations if she wasn't.

A few months later the clinic called the sperm donor and told him a mistake had been made. Now he is suing to know if the woman had a baby with his sperm and whether he is a father. The woman who mistakenly received his sperm is fighting for her privacy.

Law and ethics professors are speculating that the rights of the mother will trump the rights of the "maybe" father. We'll see this week if the man's paternity suit can go forward. If it does, the next question will be "If there is a baby and it is his, will he sue for custody?" The man is also suing OHSU for $2 million in personal damages.

And again I say, Holy Crap!! I imagine this makes all of us who have used a fertility clinic's services gasp! Karen and I were planning on using OHSU's fertility clinic's services before deciding on a CA company. It makes my heart flutter a bit to think, "That could be us".

Of course, my heart goes out to the woman and her husband. I can understand why the donor would be truly pissed but I hope his suit doesn't go any further.

[8w, 4d]

The barcode scanner gun

Wendy registered online this week at Babies R Us so we could start building our own list of stuff we think we may want. We weren't/aren't planning on officially sharing the registry with friends and family for a few more months yet, but for us anal-retentive organizer types, having an online list of all the baby stuff we have our eye on is wonderful.

This afternoon after Wendy and I met Recovering Straight Girl and her Hottie Girlfriend for lunch (thanks ladies, it was great!), we decided to go to (where else) Babies R Us and look at a few more things that we were thinking of adding to our list. Well, when we got there Wendy went to the desk and they brought up the registry stuff and then gave her a barcode scanner gun so we could walk around the store and just scan items into the registry. Oh my! This was just way too fun and the geek in me loves any kind of technology like that!

Wendy and I both have never registered for anything....ever. The whole idea of being registered is like being able to write a letter to Santa with all your Christmas wishes with the hope that you'll find a whole bunch of stuff under the tree on Christmas morning. We were likely going to have a "healthy" list doing it online, but with the trusty barcode scanner gun, our list is very likely going to grow to gargantuan length!

I was having so much fun with it that I found myself seeing items for toddlers and thought "Hey, that's cool. I think I'll scan that"! Wendy was tolerant of my amusement, and was pretty amused herself, but we managed to keep the scanned items to only baby things! Of course, we're just 8+ weeks along now, so I have no doubt that we'll have scanned the majority of items in Babies R Us before spring!

I was thinking, however, that the "gun" made me want a holster. When I was a very little girl, I had this great gun and holster set with a cool red cowboy hat to top off the ensemble. As an aside...is anyone surprised I'm a lesbian? I used my trusty guns to shoot at what few dolls my mom tried to get me to play with. She finally gave up. Anyway...I digress. So, back to the holster idea. What do you think? Should they issue the scanner gun with holster? You'd have your hands free to do the touchy, feely of the items and then when ready, Draw! I think the idea has merit personally. :) Of course, if Babies R Us doesn't think it's such a great idea, maybe Wendy will knit me one. {snicker}

So, here we are at 8 weeks and 3 days into this pregnancy and have been to Babies R Us 11 times already. And now we have access to "the gun"! Anybody want to start a pool on how many times we'll go before the baby is born? At this rate, we're on track for at least 50 visits or so! The thought is a bit scary....

Grey's Anatomy season premiere is tonight, so I'm off to ensconce myself in front of the tube to take in the drama!

- Karen

[8w,3d]
[11 Babies R Us visits]

I should have had that nap

Wendy here. I'm beginning to lose my mind. Instead of putting my fork into the dishwasher, I threw it away in the trash. Sigh.

[8w,2d]

Hello fall, hello rain

Well, fall is in the air here and with the fall comes the start of the rain. Over the next two months, the rains will come more and more frequently and will continue to come until early next spring. This is the price one pays for living in the Pacific Northwest. This is *not* the place for those with Seasonal Affective Disorder. But, for us, it's worth the long rainy season to have most other months be beautiful and green. It doesn't really ever snow here (except in the mountains) and so I look at the rains like people from Buffalo look at snow. It's just part of the package. However, I will miss the clear blue skys and light breezes that abound here from the spring until late fall. But, they'll return.

Our rose bushes bloomed again over the past week or two as a beautiful good-bye before their winter rest it seems. We just planted the two yellow rose bushes we have this spring and they went from less than a foot in height to around 4+ feet. This area is truly the mecca of roses (thus Portland's moniker - the Rose City).

We'll spend the rainy winter watching Wendy's belly grow and counting the days/weeks/months until the arrival of our little one. The cool thing is that the biscuit will arrive with the spring and the next long stretch of blue skies and cool breezes. It seems fitting, don't you think?

- Karen

[8w,1d]

Eight weeks

Wendy here. Whose idea was it to put me up against a wall and take a pregnancy picture each week?!? Because I'm hating this week's picture.

What's up with this pose? NO ONE looks good with their butt, shoulders and hands pressed against a wall and then have a profile picture taken!! I know this pose is supposed to show the growing belly. But come on!! Give me a break! This is just crappy. Especially because I know all you pregnant people and mommies out there know that I shouldn't be showing at a mere 8 weeks. But I swear that my belly gets more bloated (ahem...fat) each day.

It's weird enough to look at myself naked and think, "Wow, my belly makes me look like a marshmellow on toothpicks". But this picture makes EVERYTHING look big.

(Case in point, when Karen saw me in this sweater she said, "Good grief..your boobs look big!)

It's killing me to show you this shot (and this was the BEST picture!! Aaaggghhhh) but I wanted to because I'm so dang proud of this sweater. I just finished knitting this sweater! I guess I won't be wearing it much this year but maybe I can squeeze into it next winter or in the years to come. This is my first knitted/cabled sweater and I think it's beautiful. Well....I did until I saw the pictures of me in it.

But I'm still so enamored of it that I think I'll show you the front, back and sleeves.




From now on, I'm sticking to knitting Christmas presents and baby blankets. No more sweaters for Wendy.

[8w,0d]

The baby's room and smiles

We were very pleased to find an natural wood (unfinished) furniture store today that will stain/paint any furniture you purchase there for a relatively minimal cost. The pieces they had were just lovely. We fell in love with several alder/birch pieces that would be ideal for either a girl or a boy. All we'd do is pick the stain or paint depending on the gender. While we do reserve the right to change our minds, we're very pleased with this possibility and think we may have actually hit upon a place where we can get what we want for the baby's room regardless of gender.

We're actually pretty lucky with regard to the baby's room in that when we moved into our house it had been decorated to participate in a small home tour. This event was what I'd call the middle class version of the Parade of Homes, or as it's called here, the Street of Dreams. Anyway, the 2nd and 3rd bedrooms were decorated so that one was for a little girl and the other for a little boy. How convenient, right? Both rooms had murals handpainted on the walls. We toyed around with painting the rooms when we moved in, but decided to keep them "as is" because we couldn't bear to think of painting over the wonderful artistry. Have a look at the murals...they're pretty neat, huh?

First the boy's room...




And now the girl's room...




So, we should be all set no matter what gender our little biscuit turns out to be. With the find of this natural wood furniture store, I think one more element of the whole puzzle is falling into place so that once we know the gender, we'll just have to pick our stain color and we'll have the baby's room furniture covered! Yea!

In other news of the day, next door baby wonderkid, Ethan, smiled a big ole' smile at me today! He's just coming into the social smiling stage and man, when he flashed that million dollar grin at me, I would've handed over anything he could've asked for. Fortunately for me, he can't talk! I know his mom and dad have had the joy of basking in the little guy's smile but this was my first real smile from him. Cool! When we got back home, Wendy and I were talking, and we've both decided that we're going to have to work really hard to not be pushovers when it comes to our kid. If one gooshy, toothless smile can totally obliterate my rational thought processes, our kid could be badly spoiled if we're not careful!

- Karen

[7w,6d]
[10 Babies R Us visits] (we made it a whole day without a visit!)

A good day despite our "afflictions"

Being born and raised in Tennessee, Wendy and I have this strange affliction. It's called Volunteerus Footballitis. It doesn't matter that we now live 3000 miles away...when fall Saturday's roll around we find ourselves drawn to the TV where we search for the Vols. We find it by instinct I think. I can identify the TN football anthem of Rocky Top after hearing only about 2 notes (and of course can sing every single verse with great gusto!). Then, there we sit, glued to the game screaming and yelling and cussing as the orange and white drama plays out. Really, this is a sickness. It's something we just can't fight no matter how hard we try. We must watch Vol football! So, today we found our boys (led at quarterback by Hillsboro, OR native Eric Ainge no less) on the local CBS station and planted ourselves before the tube. Three and a half hours later, the Vols went down in defeat to the Florida Gators (boo hiss) by a score of 21-20. Crapola! Now, we have to wait on the wings of defeat until next week when we will not so mysteriously be drawn to the TV and the process will be repeated. You'd think there'd be a better way to spend 3-4 hours on a beautiful fall Saturday in Oregon wouldn't you? But, I suppose until they invent a pill that cures this cursed plague, there we'll be in front of the tube next week!

Before coming home to cheer the Vols in their defeat, we spent a nice afternoon out and about doing more research on baby furniture. We visited our routine set of baby stores (come on, you can guess...of course, Babies R Us was visited for the 10th time!) and were on the prowl for boy stuff. Believe it or not, we already have the stuff we want if the baby is a girl pretty much nailed down. But, we hadn't started looking at boy stuff yet. So, today we went out to canvas several places with a boy theme in mind. We found some nifty things that may just get the thumbs up if the little biscuit is a man-child.

Now, don't laugh too hard! It may seem like way too much this soon in the pregnancy but we can't help ourselves. Along with the aforementioned VF, we also have OPD (Obsessive Planning Disorder). I literally think it would kill us both if we didn't have every little detail planned out months in advance.

Despite our afflications, we had a great Saturday. Wendy even got wicked queasy a couple of times (once in the morning and once tonight) and had to have Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner (which I promptly ran out and retrieved for her). She's happy as can be (even with the waves of nausea) as she's fully believing the baby's really in there and letting the mommies know the growing is going well!

Hang with us as we battle our compulsions, I'm sure the fun is only beginning!


- Karen

[7w,5d]
[10 Babies R Us visits]

Winding down week 7

The work week is over and in 2 more days, we'll be starting our 8th week of pregnancy. Work this week has been an exercise in moving from one anger management session to another and I'm just glad it's over. I have wondered on more than one occasion this week if there were just some people in the world that I immediately and forever can't stand. There are two particular guys at work that are just absolute crazy-makers for me and I've had multiple opportunities this week to deal with them (or not as the case may be). I'm not a small woman and can, I suppose, be a bit intimidating. However, I've always thought of myself as a lover...not a fighter. But this week, I've wished I could tower over these two putzes, grab 'em around the neck and throttle them good. TOWANDA!!!!

Work aside, this week has been alot of fun on the pregnancy front. We had our first doc visit that went very well and Wendy is feeling much more at ease now that she's seen the little biscuit and is starting to feel more symptoms of pregnancy with each passing day. It's such a miraculous journey! Every day seems to bring just a bit of something new. Some days it's a bit of worry, some days a bit of joy, and most days it's a bit of both. But every day is a good day no matter what it contains as it brings us one step closer to the birth of our child!

Today we got our baby fix when baby neighbor Ethan visited with us for a couple of hours while his mom ran errands. There was a point where he fell asleep all balled up on my shoulder and it felt sooooo good just holding him there, hearing his breathing and feeling his heartbeat against my chest. Sigh... And in no time at all, I'll be holding our little one there too!

Have a great weekend everyone!

- Karen

[7w,4d]

Letters and apple juice

Wendy here. Thank you, thank you to everyone who stops by this blog and to all those who leave comments. Your comments make my day! It's so lovely to think of people wishing me, Karen and the Biscuit well as we travel down the pregnancy road.

Last night I was sitting on the couch, watching TV, knitting and trying to stay awake when I was hit with this feeling. It was BEYOND nausea. It felt like all of my energy had been sucked out of me and I was depleted, tired and just overall BLEH!! It could have been from the five vials of blood that was drawn from me or it could have been just regular pregnancy stuff. I thought to myself, "Damn... I guess I need to eat or drink something." But the only thing that had the slightest appeal was apple juice.

Of course, we didn't have ANY apple juice in the house. So poor Karen got to hear me whisper is this pitiful, quavering, voice, "...Honey....would you get me some apple juice?"

Up she bounded with her SuperPartner cape flying and went tearing down the hall to the car! Within six minutes I had my apple juice. WOW! What a woman!!

Lastly, I just finished writing a letter to my Nanny (mom's mom) to let her know that:
a) I'm in a committed relationship with Karen and
b) I'm 7 weeks pregnant.

Now Nanny and I have never had a conversation about the fact that I'm gay. But let me tell you, she's sharp as a whip and doesn't miss a thing. Everyone assumes she knows; it's just never been verbalized. So I don't think that news will shock her. But the pregnancy will probably surprise her.

So wish us both a little luck. My fervent hope is that she will be happy for me.

[7w,3d]
[9 Babies R Us visits]

Looking good!

We're back from our first appointment with our Dr. and are tickled pink (or blue...)! Our most wonderful doc spent over an hour and a half with us discussing anything and everything and then doing Wendy's exam and an ultrasound. Even my fingers are smiling as I type this! Both Mom and baby are doing terrific so far!

We first met with a nurse who took Wendy's vitals and went over the basics of the appointment. Wendy's blood pressure was 92/68 (of which she was very proud) and the first pee in a cup was collected. We actually had to go down a couple of floors after our appointment for the blood draw and were told we'd only get a call if anything looked out of line there.

The doctor came in and was absolutely great (a huge thanks to Recovering Straight Girl for her recommendation). She has such great presence and energy we immediately liked her and she put us at ease. We discussed everything from what Wendy is eating, and should (or should not) eat to all the testing options we will have in front of us over the coming weeks. She was great about describing each test, the risks and benefits of each and giving us just the right amount of info we needed/wanted. We also asked her about the comfort she and her staff has with lesbian couples and how we wanted to make sure there were no issues about my presence throughout the whole process, particularly the delivery. Her expression was actually quite priceless in that it was a look that said, "Duh? So, is there supposed to be anything special/different about you guys?". She even went a bit out on a political limb and stated her amazement that W got elected (ever!) and what was wrong with people (are they stupid, or what?). It was pretty funny.

Now, remember that Wendy's been a bit, shall we say, anxious/worried. I think there was just a tiny bit of her that hadn't quite let herself believe she was really pregnant. She needed the "white coat reassurance". So, after our discussion together, the doc did the actual exam. Wendy's face was pasted with this "I'm so zen about having a doc's hand feeling around inside me" look but I knew what she was waiting on. She was waiting to hear "ah yes...your uterus is enlarged". As soon as those words passed the doc's lips, Wendy's face went from zen to Bozo the Clown smiling! It was a wonderful transformation. We had our first (well, 2nd if you count the digital POAS test that announced the pregnancy) official confirmation, at least from Wendy's happy point of view, that yep...she's pregnant!

Next, came the ultrasound. I held Wendy's hand as the "condom cam" (thanks to Heather for that most perfect term) was inserted to give us our first glimpse of our baby. And wow! There it was! A little, half Cheerio sized, heartbeating baby! The measurement indicated we're right on target at about 7 weeks size and the heartbeat was 142. All throughout this process Wendy is holding my hand. Well actually, she was nearly breaking my fingers! She wanted to see it so badly as one more confirmation that she was really pregnant. So, when we did see that beautiful, beating little biscuit in there she nearly crushed my hand! All I could think was if she is this physically demonstrative for an ultrasound, I'm in b-i-g trouble when it comes to the delivery! Anybody know where a girl can get protective bonecrush avoiding hand gear? :)

Anyway, we both left with huge smiles and happy hearts. We feel so grateful that we're off to such a good start and couldn't wait to get home to share the news! So, to celebrate, guess where we're going? Yep...Babies R Us here we come!

- Karen

[7w,2d]

Update: The side of bed switch went off quite easily last night. I think it freaked the cats out a bit (you know how cats love change, right?), but both moms managed the change without incident!

7 weeks & a no-mocha zombie

Wendy here. I'm at 7 weeks and I've entered the zombie phase of pregnancy. Around 3:30 or 4:00pm each day, I collapse into the bed and fall fast asleep. Now this isn't a leisurely stroll to the bed with the thought of, "Maybe I'll close my eyes for a moment." No, no. This is a "Must...Reach...Bed....Before....System...Enters....Sleep...Mode" and then Crash. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm fast asleep. I'll sleep for about an hour and then awake groggy, stumbling, and swollen-faced. Lovely. The good news is that I'm still able to sleep through the night.

The other interesting symptom is that I no longer want to eat chocolate. //Shock!!// In the past, I've been a chocoholic. And one of my favorite chocolate items is a Starbucks grande decaf, non-fat, no-whip, iced mocha. I love to sit at Starbucks several times a week, reading a book and sipping on this delightful concoction. Last night, I ordered it and took a few sips and bleh!!! couldn't drink anymore. It just tasted awful to me! And I have the same reaction to chocolate brownies and ice cream.

I've read that pregnant women often develop food aversions. But come on!! Chocolate!! It's nectar from the gods! If anyone has a favorite, not-too-sweet Starbucks drink, let me know.

And the last change, here in the pregnant home, is that Karen & I are going to (try) switch sides of the bed. I normally sleep on the side that's close to the wall. But we are going to switch sides so that I can sleep closer to where we will put the baby's bassinet. Also, as my belly grows, we don't want me struggling between the wall and the bed and (god forbid!) getting wedged and stuck.

In our bed, I love to nestle in the crook of Karen's arm and throw an arm or leg over her body. But lately, I've been getting nauseous fast when I lay on my left side. When I lay on my right side, I'm fine. So switching sides will let me continue this cute little habit. However, I have this gut feeling that the first night we try switching sides, I'll get up on one of my many trips to the bathroom and then squash Karen as I try to get back into her side of the bed.

Lastly, we have our first doctor's appointment tomorrow. Cross your fingers for us.

[7w,1d]
[8 Babies R Us visits]

P.L.O.P.

No...this isn't a post about Alka Seltzer or horses. It's about a cool group we found here in Portland. Wendy and I attended our first event for Pregnant/Parenting Lesbians of Portland (PLOP) yesterday at a local park (Columbia Park). We've been on their email list for a couple of months, but this was our first time to go to an event. Wow! There were 25 or so couples with their children present. Most of the kids were in the 4-18 month range with a few a bit older or a bit younger. We were one of 3 couples who were expecting there.

We met some great women and it was so absolutely cool to be in the company of so many two mom families. Sometimes it feels a bit lonely in real life (even though we feel the love in blog-land daily!) as we progress on this adventure through pregnancy and into mommy-hood. So, it was super wonderful to spend a few hours in the company of women who are sharing a similar journey to ours. We met some great moms and kids and exchanged numbers with a few couples.

If you happen to live in the Portland, Oregon area and are interested in PLOP, let me know and I can send you more info via email. The next event is in October (either the 2nd or 3rd Sunday...not sure yet). We're already looking forward to it!

- Karen

[7w,0d]

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Wendy here. You know there is a fine line between desire (I want a healthy baby), concern (Is everything okay with the baby?) and then worry.

It's weirdly true that I feel better when I feel worse. When my boobs are sore and I'm nauseous all day, I'm content. But if these symptoms subside (as they have for the past two days), then worry and more worry sets in. And then I read blogs of pregnant people who've been vomiting since day one and their symptoms seem so much more pronounced than mine.

How many times have we read or been told, "If you are experiencing vomiting, it's a great sign that your hormone levels are up and you are making a healthy baby". What the heck am I supposed to conclude if I'm not vomiting? Naturally, I think something may be wrong. But then I'm told, "Everyone's pregnancy is different. You may not get nauseous at all and everything could still be fine." Once again, this pregnancy business is NO WHERE NEAR an exact science.

So I was worried and restless yesterday. I just couldn't sit still. We drove by the doctor's office (to make sure I knew how to get to my first appointment next week); we drove to the yarn store; and we drove to the park so I could take a walk beneath the trees. And most of the time I had this inwardly-drawn, worrisome, sour-puss look on my face.

Well, screw that!

Today I'm tired of worrying. Today I'm whistling and singing the "Don't Worry, Be Happy" song (with a really BAD Jamaican accent) and Hakuna Matata.

Because dammit, I want to enjoy this pregnancy. Every minute of it.

[6w,5d]

Visit from Ethan

Good friends and neighbors, Jeff and Heather, brought their 9-week old son Ethan over to visit last night. Yesterday I finished knitting Ethan a sweater and matching hat and I just couldn't wait to see them on him. I'm so in love with this precious little boy!

Here's a few pictures:



You can view more pictures at our Flickr site

-Wendy
[6w,4d]

Honey, don't mess with the straight people

Wendy and I go to a Jazzercise class 4-5 times per week...we're addicted. It's a good workout and the endorphins it produces always gives me a few wonderful minutes of zoned out bliss upon completion. A few days ago as we were driving home from class, a very humorous (at least I thought so) picture popped into my head. I had imagined Wendy and I showing up at Jazzercise one morning wearing hers & hers t-shirts. Wendy's shirt would say "I'm Another Woman" and mine would say "I Got Another Woman Pregnant". I laughed out loud at the picture in my head and Wendy asked me what was so funny. She chuckled and shook her head at me saying "honey, don't mess with the straight people".

I just can't help myself. Honestly, I've never been very politically minded and not been involved in activism. But, there are really times when I want to shake the "normal" folks trees a bit. So often as lesbians we are stereotyped and labeled before people even get to know us and I get really tired of some of the silly comments. I think I'm just getting to a place where I'd rather strike first in some cases.

The ladies we Jazzercise with are generally a wonderful group and know we're a couple and have been quite cool with us. But, I just couldn't help myself in thinking about their reactions to our pregnancy when we announce it. I suppose Wendy is right though and that there is a less "in your face" way of announcing our pregnancy than the way I imagined. I'll just have to keep Wendy's advise in mind: don't mess with the straight people. (Well...maybe just a little!)

- Karen

[6w,3d]

Covert stroller review

This is the Bugaboo. Stroller extraordinaire. Wendy and I have been coveting this little beauty after seeing it in a British pregnancy magazine. Yesterday evening while sitting on the patio at PF Chang's having a little Combo Lo Mein, we saw a mom pushing a pink Bugaboo just across the street from where we were sitting. In total glee, Wendy exclaimed with a sharp intake of breath, "It's a Bugaboo!" And we both began to stare. Now, it's not like we could really hide our ogling since we were on an outdoor patio, but the mother didn't seem to notice.

About this time, our waiter came over to see if we needed anything and we both whispered, "No...we're fine" to which he asked, quite bewilderedly, "Why are you whispering?". We whispered back, "Because we're spying on that lady over there!". Needless to say our little waiter looked at us quite oddly and did an about face and left the two weird chicks alone to do their spying!

So, we watched her stroll down the sidewalk and then, as luck would have it, she stopped at the valet parking pick-up stand to have her car brought around. Yee haw! We were going to get to see the "breakdown" in real life!

As background to all this excitement you have to understand that being the planners that we are, we had already been to a local store that carries the Bugaboo line and did a little test drive of our own. We had spent 30 minutes or so in the store taking it apart, breaking it down and putting it back together. Of course this involved the assistance of 4 store clerks as well...not because it was hard or we really need help, but because the Bugaboo is an expensive little contraption and they all wanted the sale!

Anyway, back to the real-life Bugaboo breakdown experience. Before our delighted eyes, the car was brought around and the mom brought the stroller to the back of the van. A boy, who looked about 8 or 9, reached over and snapped off the seat with one swift, easy motion. He then flattened the little sunshade down and !wah-lah!...that part was done...and he slid his part into the back of the van. Next, mom broke down the main carriage with a slight flick of her index fingers on both sides of the handle (which released it) and then dropped it flat while reaching with her other hand to the front center section and grabbing the whole unit by its cross bar beneath the two front wheels. She picked it up (it was virtually flat) and loaded it easily into the back of the van as well.

The whole process took less than 20 seconds. We continued to stare as they shut the van up and drove off, gazing longingly at the lovely Bugaboo snugly stored away in the back. Sigh....

OK...is this normal behavior? Does anybody else out there surreptitiously eye other people's strollers? We truly got a big kick out of the whole viewing experience. What's next? I wonder if the good folks at Babies R Us would let us sit in the back while they put together baby furniture or something? Hmmmm....

We have decided, after having been consumed with a huge fascination for all things baby (and in this instance, strollers in particular) that we need to start a new kind of Olympic games in which all the "sports" are related to all things baby. There could be events like Swaddling, Diapering, Feeding and Burping (just to name a few). But the real glory could be found in the Stroller event. Each competitor would have to start with a brand new, just out of the box, stroller (make and model of their choice with a few basic requirements as to size, type, etc). They'd have to assemble it, put the child in (safely strapped in of course) and complete a small obstacle course. At the end, the child would be removed, and the stroller would have to be broken down and placed into a trunk-sized storage bin. The winner would get their picture on a Wheaties box leaning confidently against their winning stroller! Sounds like a real hoot to me!

Got any good spy stories of your own? We'd love to hear! And, we'd love to hear which strollers or other baby equipment you are coveting. We'd love to have other items to add to our "spy" list!

- Karen

[6w,2d]

Books and more books

Wendy here. Yesterday I was browsing in a bookstore and found a lovely little book. It's titled "Great with Child" by Beth Ann Fennelly. I've only read the first 25 pages and already I'm in love with it.

The author, Beth Ann, is a teacher of poetry writing. She became friends with one of her students, Kathleen. She kept in touch with Kathleen and was with her the day that Kathleen learned she was pregnant. Kathleen was moving to Alaska with her new husband and terrified at being so far away from her friends during this crucial time. Beth Ann promised to write her many letters. She did write them and Kathleen treasured them and then passed them on to another pregnant friend. Once the letters got passed around a few times, Beth Ann decided to publish them.

It's wonderful writing. Just two friends corresponding over the joys and hardships of pregnancy and child-rearing. Check it out!

We also added a few books to the baby's growing library. Karen and I love to read and are excited to read to our Little One. We're so tickled, that many nights, right before we turn off the lights, one of us will read a board book or children's story to the other.

Here are the books we have so far. If you have a favorite or recommendation, please let us know!

Board Books
Time for Bed by Fox
I Know an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly by Hoberman & Westcott
Skip to My Lou by Westcott
On the Night You Were Born by Tillman
I Love You As Much by Melmed
Baby Faces by Miller

Children's Books
And Here's to You by Elliott
We're Going on a Bear Hunt by Oxenbury

Dr. Seuss Books
Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You?
Big Dog...Little Dog
The Shape of Me and Other Stuff
The Eye Book
Ten Apples Up on Top
Put Me in the Zoo
One Fish, Two Fish
Green Eggs & Ham

[6w,2d]

Southern signs of the zodiac

We got this from a dear friend back in Tennessee today and had a good laugh. Given our due date, our baby will fall under the sign of Possum and will be raised by a Boiled Peanut (K) and a Butter Bean (W). Oh my!

- Karen

[6w,1d]



What's Your "Southern" Sign?

Some of us (especially Southerners) are pretty skeptical of horoscopes, and it has become obvious that what we need are "Southern" symbols.

OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20)
Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over her life and see the seeds of her influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.

CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A chitlin, however, can make something of herself if she's motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - Mar 20) You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.

MOON PIE (Mar 21- Apr 20) You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Or, maybe not.

POSSUM (Apr 21 - May 21) When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won't work and you may find your problems actually running you over.

CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21) Craw fish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend to be not particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.

COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23) Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the "melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essence of those round them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collard, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23) Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one's whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23) Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.

BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23) You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best - your friends and loved ones - may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22) Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21) You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today. You're really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another somewhat kinky, mating possibility.

Just call me burpy

Wendy here. Six weeks pregnant. The Biscuit is 1/12 to 1/16 inch from crown to rump. The baby has a tiny heart (no bigger than a poppy seed) which is beating on its own. Other major organs continue to develop and rudimentary arms and legs appear as tiny buds on the body.

So far this pregnancy has been all about burping. I grew up in the South where "true ladies don't burp". (Wish I could put the proper drawl on that sentence). And I don't burp easily.

And when I do it's this prissy, no sound, try-to-blow-the-air-out-without-moving-lips and oh, crap the air is trying to come out of my nose-- weird burpness. And I get to have this lovely experience 100 times a day! Each time I have that feeling of - Is this going to be more than a burp? But then the bubble releases and I feel better.

I have the occasional queasies - little waves of nausea- each day but so far no vomiting. My breasts are tender, especially when I first wake up or when I'm Jazzercising. But on the whole, they don't hurt unless I bump them or something.

My two strongest pregnancy symptoms are my throbbing pulse (it's hard to sleep with my heart pounding in my ears) and my swollen, bleeding gums.

On another note, I want to give a shout out to RSG and family who let us join them for their Labor Day barbecue. It was great to get out and meet some new folks and RSG let me borrow some pregnancy books. Thank you, Thank you! You can read her blog here .

I'm so excited that The Yarn Harlot will be in town tomorrow night for a book signing. She is a knitting guru who writes some fantastically funny books about the yarn obsessed. She takes pictures of her book-signing crowds, posts them on her blog. I've seen that most folks at her events are knitting. I'll be too damned tickled and nervous to knit anything in her presence. Maybe I'll just take my knitting bag and hold some yarn in my lap.

[6w,1d]
[7 Babies R Us visits]

On intimacy and connection

I can't remember exactly where I read this, but it has stuck with me over the years: "Behavior needs to follow the internal connection, not the other way around."

I quote this because of a post over at dosmamas that made me think. The post ends with:
"How did this happen? How did we do such a freaky miscommunication? We both thought we were doing the other person a favor. We both thought we were protecting the other person. Have we gone mad?".

When we, in our relationships, begin to allow our behavior to set the feelings of intimacy and connection, we "miss" one another. When I think I'm doing Wendy a favor by not saying or doing something... or by doing something a certain way... I am allowing my behavior to make a statement about my internal connection (and the love I feel for her) instead of driving my behavior by my connection to her. It may seem hard to tell the difference at times, but it's really there. I think it actually gets harder to tell if behavior is driving connection or connection is driving behavior the longer you're in a relationship. We get to know each other so well that we just assume (and you remember what assume stands for right? - make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me') we know what the other person is thinking, what they want, what they like, etc. And... many times we are right! But, when we're wrong, we have missed each other. We have miscommunication. We feel disconnected. We feel unheard. And all because we thought we were acting lovingly toward our partner.

It's a bit scary to think about and it's a thought that I really work to keep in play in my relationship with Wendy. I don't want to have communication misses with her if I can help it and thinking about letting my connection to her drive my behavior, instead of the other way around, I typically find that we don't miss each other.

So... to the ladies over at dosmamas, I'll say this in answer to your question of "How did this happen?": it happened because you love each other and because you maybe assumed you knew something the other wanted or desired and were simply trying to give that to each other.

It happens to us all every day! We must decided how we wish to be with our loved ones and decide that we can say what we are thinking about (even when we think our partner knows), ask what the other wants (even when we think we know what they want) and check out our actions (event when we think a certain action is wanted or expected). Communication can be a tricky business and a scary business when you say or do something you think may cause your partner to pause. But, in the end, I think our communications and our relationships are enriched when we simply let our connections drive our behaviors and not the other way around.

- Karen

[5w,6d]

Let the scoffing begin!

Here's actual proof that we find it hard to wait for anything:



What is this you may ask? Well, it's the first furniture item for the baby's room! Our list for things to fill the baby's room includes the typical items such as a crib and dresser/changing table but we also have a couple of mommy items on the list as well: a glider/rocker and a TV/DVD player. It is the 2nd mommy item you see pictured here. Wendy and I are both movie hounds. We have a fairly extensive library of DVDs we both like and we typically have a movie playing most all the time. We even have a little portable DVD player that Wendy keeps in the kitchen to be able to watch movies while she cooks or while we eat lunch sometimes.

So, when we could wait no longer (no longer meaning we've waited 14 whole days since finding out we were pregnant), we went out and purchased a TV/DVD and small shelf/stand which will live in the baby's room. We already have a bunch of "kid" movies and a set of Baby Einstein DVDs that we placed on the shelf. The new TV/DVD player will provide the mommies with a bit of distraction while nursing or rocking or changing or soothing our new baby and, as we so wonderfully justified, it will also be there for our growing child to be able to use as well. Our further justifications for the purchase were: 1) we had a $20 coupon at Best Buy 2) the set was reduced by $50 due to the Labor Day Sale. And...it was a "Labor" day sale... get it?... "labor"... pregnancy... delivery.... get it? It made perfect sense to us!

We realize that this is an extravagance, excess, exorbitance, frill, luxury, over-indulgence (can you tell I found my thesaurus?) but we l-o-v-e it! We just stood in the room and giggled. Of course, we put in a Baby Einstein DVD and watched the first few minutes of it...ooo-ing and ahhh-ing over the brightness of the pictures and the cool music.

Of course, our little cat Chloe wasn't quite so excited as we were. I swear I think she was trying to blow a raspberry at us at one point!



I suppose this is a far cry from buying a few gender neutral onesies or a bib or two, but hey....we felt indulgent! So...let the scoffing begin! I can just hear my mother clucking over the purchase and see her eyes as they roll back in her head. But, I can also imagine the little smile she'd hide (if only I could see her face from 3000 miles away) as she shakes her head and acknowledges the love her little girl is feeling about the baby that's on the way and how it wasn't so very long ago (well...OK..it was about 40 years ago) that she was just as excited about my arrival and would've been just as extravagant if she could've been!

The question is....what will we get next?!?!?!

- Karen

[5w,5d]
[7 Babies R Us visits]

Gifts already!

Wendy here. Baby gifts already! WOW

Ever since I started singing "Rainbow Connection", I've seen lots of frogs. Frogs here...frogs there...frogs everywhere. And even though we've started calling the baby "Biscuit" instead of "Froggy", I'm still in love with the frogs.
Karen's sister Amy sent us this fabulous frog bib with attached teether:

Heather gave us this beautiful plaque and toy

as well as this pregnancy calendar...all in this great Kermit bag

And Karyn V. from San Diego sent us this sweet frame and knitting angel (perfect as I'm an avid knitter).



And today I had the gift of babysitting Ethan (his mom Heather dressed him up in his frog outfit for me).

I wonder why I look so maniacal in pictures. And what's with all that face shine? Is this the pregnancy "glow" I've heard about? If so, it's manifesting in a really greasy forehead and nose. What's attractive about that? I mean, I could grease a cookie sheet with this stuff (eeewww...gross...I know).

Anyway, lots of blessings!
[5w,4d]

Waiting is not our forte

Wendy and I decided to run some errands this afternoon and ended up going to a local baby/kids store named Segal's to test drive some strollers. On our way outta there, Wendy asked: "How long ago did I find out I was pregnant?". After a bit of date math, I responded: "You got a for sure positive on Aug. 19 so you found out 13 days ago". "Oh...that's not very long, is it?", she says. "Nope, many people don't even know they're pregnant at this point!", I say.

13 days. That's all that has passed since we knew W was pregnant. And yet, it seems like an eternity ago! How is that? Wendy is anxious about the arrival (or non-arrival as the case is at present) of nausea. I've truly never thought anyone would wish to get sick, but she's really wanting to be sick so she'll "know" she's really pregnant. It's hard waiting...

We've avoided Babies R Us this week but have been researching all kinds of things - from strollers to cribs and more - online. Our trip to Segal's today was a result of our internet research about strollers and we wanted to go try out a few in person. We've decided that by Christmas (when W will be around 22 weeks or so) we'll have picked out and bought most all the big stuff - car seat, stroller, baby's room furniture, mom's rocker/glider - and probably have a real good dent made in all the rest of the baby items on our list. It was actually a bit hard for me today to not just buy the stroller! It's hard waiting...

We are not very good at waiting! We research, plan, organize, and do! Once we get something on our minds it doesn't take us very long to do or get it. That's where this process is different. Pregnancy - from trying to get pregnant all the way through the birth - is all about waiting.

We didn't even wait to tell people we are pregnant. We're certainly not members of the wait until after 12 weeks to tell club. We are making ourselves wait on most of the "big" things until we find out the baby's gender but I can't tell you how much we want to go out and start hauling stuff home! It's hard waiting...

Are we alone in this? I don't really think so, but I'm feeling we're probably on the far end of the can't wait spectrum. There are so many things we all wait for during our quest to bring a baby into our lives. And so many of the waits are nerve-wracking so this portion of the waiting perhaps shouldn't be so "hard"...but waiting is waiting and well....it's hard waiting....

- Karen

[5w4d]