Thursday, March 04, 2010



My Nanny, (my mother's mother) passed away on Thursday, February 25th.

We drove to TN on the previous Tuesday 2/22. Nanny was in a wonderful hospice facility. I was fortunate enough to spend the night with Nanny on Tuesday, to spend the day with her on Wednesday and again on Wednesday night. Although she had already started the process of dying by the time I got to her, she did rouse enough to know I was there with her. I read to her and held her hand. I watched over her.

My mother and I were with her the moment she died. It was the first time I was with someone as they passed away.

The last three days I spent with her were traumatic yet touching at the same time. It seems like every moment is seared into my brain.

My Nanny was 91 years old when she died. She led a remarkable life. Up until the last week of her life, she lived in her own house. I can't even begin to encapsulate her life.

My Nanny and I loved one another. We understood one another. We stayed close. Throughout my life, I've had periods when I withdraw from almost everyone. My Nanny never let me go. She never let me slip away. She continued to reach out to me with her wonderful letters and calls and visits. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

This is the last picture I have of her. She is hugging Kylie. It was taken at her house on 7/27/09.

We all got home last night. Karen took a week off work to be with me during every step. Karen's Mom took care of Kylie for us. And we have some great stories to share about some of the things Kylie said and did this last week.

But this has been one of the worst winters I can ever remember.
My other Nanny (my father's mother) passed away in December.
We had Karen's heart attack scare in January.
We lost Nanny in February.
The gray skies and snow has been oppressive and awful.
We miss our life in Portland, OR.
Karen hates her job.
We are miserable and down-hearted and sad.

I know our troubles seem minor in light of all the peoples of the world who are enduring so much worse. We ARE counting our blessings. We are enjoying our daughter and one another. We are working hard to get healthier. We comfort one another.

But it seems like we are hanging on by our fingernails. We are hoping and praying for a ray of light, a sense of Spring, and a job change.

This blog has been limping along for months now. I hope to breathe some more life, love and joy into it soon. Bear with me.


Lynanne said...

My heart goes out to you. I wish I had better words of comfort. I'll send as many positive thoughts your way as I can muster. Take care!

Soupy said...

ALL my thoughts and prayers and well wishes are being sent to you as I read this. My heart is sad for you. Hugs and know you are admired from a far! :) Your girl is a beauty! I'm so sorry things seem so hard right now :(

Merry said...

I'm a regular lurker on your blog -- and I'm attending my own grandma's memorial this weekend, so I am completely sympathizing with you right now. This is my least favorite time of year, too, when it's all cold and dark and yucky and spring should just GET HERE ALREADY! *sigh* Anyway, just wanted to say that I hope things will turn around for you guys soon. And your blog posts are the highlight of my otherwise boring workdays -- Kylie is the prettiest little angel girl I've ever seen. ♥

Stef said...

So sorry to hear about nanny. I lost my grandma ( dads mom) in December. Was hard.

Regarding the move and winter. Give it time. It takes us along time to adjust. You moved to a beautiful area. Just sucks right now :).

Btw we may be going to Portland on a road trip this summer ( cali coast, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver). Could I pick your brain on things to do, restaurants to go to( cool family friendly) and things like that?

Caroline said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your Nanny.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I hope spring comes early for you.

Alayna said...

I'm so sorry about the loss of your Nanny. It must have meant a lot to her that you were there and that you stayed until she was ready to go. I'm so sorry, too, that this has been such a rough winter. You guys have had a lot of transitions and change.

We found that it took a couple of years before we really felt at home here after we moved up from California, so I hope things get better for you and your family as a little more time goes by. Thinking of you!

ECW74 said...

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family as you deal with so many life changes.

I lived in NoVA for about 6 years and loved it. Spring will be here soon and there are so many things to see and do. Good luck, mama!

Teaberry said...

I am so sorry to hear about your Nanny-- I can tell from the picture that she must've had a lovely, sweet soul.

Let's get together. I am still home until the end of April. Maybe we can weather the rest of this horrible winter doing something fun until the sun really shines! Maybe we could go into DC and visit the botanical gardens!

Unknown said...

I would have never thought I would be one to say this but isn't being with ones love one when they pass a moving experience? I brought my father in law to our home and made his last couple of days as comfortable as possible. He was 92 and such a joy. I hate death... such a cruel thing but being there to send your love one off in a respectable, peaceful way is the most loving and giving thing you can do for them. I hope I have a chance to have some one with me... but knowing me I will get hit by a bus. Whammo... just my luck. Anyway, girlie's love your blog miss my Kylie fix. Hope the sunshines soon for you guys.. in more ways then one. Rest in Peace Ms. Nanny.

Louise said...

I'm so sorry that you lost your grandmother. It does sound as though she lived a wonderfully long loving life. You are in my thoughts.

It does sound as though you have had a tough winter. I do hope that you start to feel better and more at peace in Virginia. Hopefully the spring will help to lift your mood. Hang in there!

Nada in Australia said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am thinking of you all at this time.

Sending you love and sunshine.

Dodie Sa said...

I had just finished reading your entire blog and then you didn't post for quite a while. I was getting quite worried that something had happened, so when I checked today was so sad to hear the news.

Sending you lots of happy thoughts! I hope things start to get better soon! You'll have to do some therapeutic scrapbooking!

Take care!

Beth said...

Oh, Wendy, I am so so sorry to hear about your Nana.

You all have been through an awful lot in just a matter of months. Spring is just around the corner, thank goodness.

You always have a friend in me. Adam & I miss you & Kylie! Let us know when you're up for a playdate again. In the meantime, I'm sending my sympathy to you on the loss of your Nana... and sunny thoughts for brighter days to come.

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Missi said...

I am sorry. Wonderful picture nanny and K. you´ll be in my thoughts. I really believe there is still life when you pass away..

Regards from Spain,

Shauna said...

I'm very sorry for your loss. And also for the tough time you've been having lately. Hang in there.

Stef Ryan said...

So sorry to hear about your loss. Our thoughts are with you and your family and we hope your spring brings some more happiness your way.

Stacey said...

so sorry for your loss and your unhappiness. {{{hugs}}}